Loving my self

Growing up I was always the tallest girl in my class but I was normally one of the biggest and I don't really mean by what most people would classify as fat. I was 2 grades behind. I have a larger bone structure than a lot of girls. So I have always been classified as a tom boy and I am!!! It didn't bother me till I got in to around 7th grade. Then I started filling awkward.  I started wearing baggy cloths at one point. I wish I had of new how to dress my self better during those years. It took me along time to get out of not wanting baggy cloths because I didn't want to show my curves off. I'm sure it never helped not being in to fashion and not really careing for new trends till I've spent sometimes seeing the trends but most of the time now I like to wear what I want to wear. Cause really who do u know that is wearing stuff straight out of the fashion run way or magzinez. "Real people?" I don't call that real people.

Today March 4th for the first time ever I sat down and cried about my size. Most people tell me I look good and i don't need to lose weight. But I don't fill good and I don't love my body. I'm so frustrated when buying cloths. Cloths are not made for the girls between plus size and "normal size" if that's a real thing!
You would think at the age of 33 I could pick stuff out for my self but at one point I had my friend size me for jeans. It was a great dession. Getting sized for bras is also a great thing.
But shopping just makes me want to hide and cry in some stores.
There is one store that I love.

I think one thing more that frustrates me is that my 9 year old son is calling his self fat and he isn't. We have asked family to not tell him he is fat or gained weight. That is frustrating thing. I have to try and in courage healthy habits and I need to be healthy as well. 

I have to be healthy be active and remeber when I really want to say sitting on the couch is not Gona make that belly you ate worried about go away not to. My son should not be thinking about that and I shouldn't be putting my self down. I should be loving my self.